Parents, you can give a big sigh of relief. It’s not just
you.
Constance Hall is a 32-year-old artist, blogger and
mum-of-four (to one-year old twins, Rumi and Snow, Billie-Violet, 6 and Arlo
Love, 4) from Perth.
She took to Facebook yesterday to tell all about what
happens to your sex life after having kids – and it’s clearly struck a chord.
It’s now been shared over 21,000 times and had almost
84,000 likes.
The post begins: ‘We had “parent sex” yesterday. You know
what parent sex is, it’s that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies
and making food.’
She goes on to outline her husband’s seduction technique
(aka ‘one finger pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his dick’)
and the challenges of trying to have sexy time with Iggle Piggle playing in the
back ground.
We had “parent sex” yesterday.
You know what parent sex is, it’s that 3.5 minutes you
get in between changing nappies and making food,where you notice that all of your kids are pretty
distracted,
Where you realise it’s been almost a month since you
banged and are starting to feel like flat mates,Where your husband’s seduction consists of one finger
pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his dick,
Where you position the bed to have one foot against the
door because for a loud bunch of kids, yours can be pretty quiet when they’re
sneaking up on people,
Where no matter how hot it is you chuck the doona on top
of yourselves in case someone manages to barge through and catch mummy and
daddy doing “yoga” in bed,It’s a pretty romantic scene really, listening to Iggle
Piggle in the back ground, knowing your days are numbered when you here the add
break.
Men are amazing and impressive creatures, by sheer
determination, it’s inspiring how one can manage to “finish” under such
circumstances, us women, aren’t always so easy.
All the while gleefully thinking about how much of a sex
goddess, vixen you are and how your fella is finally going to stop being an
arse for at least a whole day.
Well mine was pretty impressed, even if I just lied
there, saggy boobs, baby belly pouch, hairy minge and all, he still thinks I’m
amazing.
Clearly, Constance and husband Billy are not alone.‘That is just sooo true. Those of you who can’t imagine
this. Just wait. Your turn will come,’ wrote one person underneath.
‘Lmao. Just come out the other side. This is so true and
written perfectly. Thanks for the laugh,’ added another.
Constance blogs at The Not So Secret Life of Us and is
totally honest – sometimes brutally – about how parenthood turns your life
upside down
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